The day just started and the boy came to his mom and told her. "Mom! I am hungry and cold, I want something to eat." Mom said. "Well I don't have any food for you to eat so we will have to go outside and try to look for some". It was so cold outside and they didn't have proper clothing to wear. "But mom it´s cold outside". They forced themselves to go outside and get some food so they can start their day.
This is how people in poverty feels everyday. They have no food or shelter, they often have to sleep on the cold dirty ground listening to their stomach grumble. How would you feel if you were in poverty? You would want to go back to the way your life was before you tried living in poverty. Did you know that a child born in the poorest countries has a 1 in 6 chance of dying before their 5th birthday? But in the rich countries the odds are about 1 in 165? Itś shocking how poverty affects us but,we could end poverty. The disparity between the world’s rich and poor has never been wider. Child poverty is high in developing countries. Nelson Mandela had once said “Poverty is not an accident. Like slavery and apartheid, it is a man made and can be removed by the actions of human being”. Millions are being forced to face a painful daily reality of poverty, conflicts and lack of food while on the other hand the people who have everything increase their greed for more. Hunger is endless and desperation is overwhelming. It is up to you and I to make a difference before the world’s population drown in an ocean of poverty.
This is how people in poverty feels everyday. They have no food or shelter, they often have to sleep on the cold dirty ground listening to their stomach grumble. How would you feel if you were in poverty? You would want to go back to the way your life was before you tried living in poverty. Did you know that a child born in the poorest countries has a 1 in 6 chance of dying before their 5th birthday? But in the rich countries the odds are about 1 in 165? Itś shocking how poverty affects us but,we could end poverty. The disparity between the world’s rich and poor has never been wider. Child poverty is high in developing countries. Nelson Mandela had once said “Poverty is not an accident. Like slavery and apartheid, it is a man made and can be removed by the actions of human being”. Millions are being forced to face a painful daily reality of poverty, conflicts and lack of food while on the other hand the people who have everything increase their greed for more. Hunger is endless and desperation is overwhelming. It is up to you and I to make a difference before the world’s population drown in an ocean of poverty.
good first paragraph
ReplyDeleteI like your beginning and the paragrah but you should add " those things so its makes more sense who is who, like the mom and son or daughter
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ReplyDeleteI think you are forcing the beginning part of your introduction. I think you should write it like a narrative. Your intro has a great idea, i would just say change the style of your writing, and i think you can add what you are planning to write in your body to your introduction.
ReplyDeleteI think that you shouldn't have so many facts in your opening. That stuff should go in the body paragraphs.
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